Same Sex Marriage

Supporting Same-Sex Marriage

as a heterosexual, Bible-believing, Baptist Pastor

by the Revd Nathan Nettleton

Although the author of this chapter is an ordained Baptist pastor, the opinions expressed here are his personal views and are

not seeking to represent the official position of any union of Baptist churches or the majority opinion of Baptist people.

This chapter has been published in the book:

Speak Now : Australian perspectives on same-sex marriage

Edited by Victor Marsh, PhD

ISBN: [978-0-9807120-9-4]

Publisher: Clouds of Magellan –

Publication Date: 2011 in paperback and most ebook formats

Marriage equality for same-sex couples is often portrayed as being an agenda pushed only by those

who oppose the Christian faith and despise heterosexual marriage. At best, that is a gross

generalisation, and I am one of the many exceptions. I am a married, heterosexual, evangelical

Christian pastor and theologian who supports legislative amendment to allow same-sex couples the

right to formalise their commitments in the legally-recognised covenant of marriage.

Personal Background

Since biases and vested interests are almost inevitable in this debate, it is necessary to begin by

acknowledging where I come from. I was not always a supporter of gays in the church. Far from it.

As a fifteen year old, I was targeted disturbingly, but fortunately not very successfully, by a sexual

predator who was an older male friend of my family. That experience left me with a hatred of

homosexuals, and as a conservative Christian, it was easy to find biblical justifications for my fear

and hostility. But I married young and my wife left me for another man before I was twenty four,

and as a divorcee, I found myself in a category of people who, according to my own biblical

conservatism, were ruled out of marrying and confined to lifelong celibacy.

It was out there in that wilderness, and chaffing against the unfairness of it, that I began to look

around to see who else was similarly excluded. Who else was marginalised and left without hope of

acceptance by the kind of thinking I had embraced? For a conservative and homophobic young

Christian, finding that I was standing alongside the gay community was a bit of a shock. But now

that I was being told that the Christian thing for me to do was give up sexual intimacy forever, I

could see the injustice of what I had previously demanded of gay people. I recognised that they

didn’t choose to be gay any more than I chose to be divorced, and that they couldn’t become

straight any more than I could become un-divorced. So I could relate to their alienation, even

though I’ve never been able to relate to being sexually attracted to men. I find it hard enough to

understand why women would be sexually attracted to men!

A few years down the track, with my theology maturing into something that took the Bible a lot

more seriously (although not nearly so loudly), I fell in love with a girl in one of my theological

classes and was soon thinking about re-marriage. I was reminded that it was still not acceptable to

many of my evangelical brothers and sisters, because when I was accepted for ordination, some

members of the selection committee declared that although they thought that in all other respects I

was an excellent candidate, they had to vote against my acceptance because I would not rule out re-

marrying. So, while I had discovered in the crucified and risen Christ a grace that could welcome

and celebrate new life after death, I remained very aware of what it feels like to live in the morally

ambiguous space that is created by such grace.